Deletion

Almost ten months have gone by since we last walked on Ecuadorian soil. Many memories (which I neglected to record on this blog) were seemingly burned into my memory, branding my brain like a cow hide. Recently however, my computor suffered a stroke, and all of my photos were lost, save the few that were posted at the begining of the trip on this blog. I have a funny feeling that as time places distance between the present and the home of my memories I will lose them.

I have been missing Ecuador lately and trying to reflect upon what that experience actually comprised of. The more I do so, the more I come to terms with the episodic nature of the thing. We (well at least I) tend to want to 'go back' to particular events, or times in life we think fondly of. But I cannot 'go back' to Ecuador. I can travel there, and visit some of the places I lived, and people I know. But the experience I had was a particular phenomenon, with particular pieces of a puzzle that cannot be duplicated. It can only exist now in faded memory - unaided by digital photos - and likely very different than it actually was. I guess I can accept that.

I hope I do go back, and spend time again with the friends I love there. I hope that I don't try to relive anything though, an attempt doomed to fail. I want to create new faded, fragmented memories and maybe take a few photos that I will lose as well.